Adventures of the Fat Yogini

I've moved!

2011-05-06T23:29:00.001-07:00

Two months ago, I moved to a new pro blogging platform and launched my nonprofit, in the process completely forgetting to let you know here! From now on, I can be found at The Solar-Powered Yogi. Be sure to update your subscription so you don't miss a bit of the excitement!

Photo of the Week- A Winter Kitchen

2011-01-24T21:02:00.000-08:00

Oh my! I can't believe it's already the end of January. My 26th birthday is on Friday! It's very busy here at Fat Yogini central, as tax time is quickly approaching and my whole world is consumed with sending acknowledgment letters to the lovely people who have recently donated to the 100 Friends Project. It's not very exciting, but it must be done. In the meantime, here is a photo for your viewing pleasure. Thanks for stopping by!

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My mother-in-law preparing Sunday dinner. Albany, CA. January 2011

Photo of the Week- Water Fowl in Hyde Park

2011-01-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

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Birds in Hyde Park. London, England. October 2010

Grace's Lucky New Year's Soup

2011-01-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

In the American South, they have a tradition of eating black-eyed peas and greens on New Year's Day to invite luck (black-eyed peas) and money (greens) in the new year. Who decided black-eyed peas were lucky, I have no idea, but they can be extremely tasty and very good for you, so let's eat up, shall we? It's not too late to get the New Year off to a delicious, and maybe even lucky, start!

Grace's Black-Eyed Peas and Greens (Soup)

3 small leeks (white/light green parts diced)
1 small yellow onion, diced
3 large cloves of garlic, minced fine
1 Tbs. poultry seasoning
2 heaping tsp. good chili powder
2-3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 head savoy cabbage (frilly cabbage), cut into 2-inch pieces
4-5 roasted green chiles, diced (Ortega brand canned whole chiles are great)
2 large red bell peppers, cored and chopped
1 cup dried black-eyed peas
1 cup dry farfelle or rotelle pasta (corn pasta for gluten-free)
6 cups veggie broth
2 cups water
Parmesan cheese curls for garnish (optional)

Lightly saute leeks, onions and garlic in olive oil. Add poultry seasoning and chili powder. Mix it all about until leeks and onions are fully coated in spices. Add veggie broth, water, cabbage, green chiles, red peppers and black-eyed peas. Bring to boil. Cover and reduce heat, simmer for 40-45 minutes. Add pasta and let simmer for another 5-10 minutes, until peas and pasta are at desired consistency. Serve immediately, garnish with Parmesan cheese if desired and couple with piping hot cornbread. Happy New Year!

Our New Year's Day dinner and my first photo of 2011!

Photo of the Week- World's Tiniest Nativity

2010-12-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

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One of my favorite ornaments, a teeny tiny nativity scene carved and painted inside a gourd, from Peru. Oakland, December 2010

Namaste and happy holidays, no matter what your faith tradition may be!

The Femininity Experiment

2010-12-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

Since I value honesty and openness, especially in the pro blog and yoga worlds where we are under a constant barrage of pressure to be exceptional, I have a confession to make: Often, I don't feel comfortable in my biologically female body and recently I've been feeling less and less connected to the feminine divine and even more resentful of this somewhat broken vessel than usual. To not be totally accepting of myself in all my fertility goddess glory makes me feel like a fraud. What am I doing with this blog? Wasn't my original goal to try to inspire other women to accept their curves and fight the sinewy yoga body ideal? Yoga and acceptance for all, right?

Somewhere I lost my way.

Every day over the past few months, I've looked in the mirror hating what I see, not seeing my soft fullness, cellulite and scars for what they've brought me through, but only sending bile back at myself for not being a feather-weight yoga guru. Let me tell you, self-hate is no way to inspire yourself to go to the gym or have a daily yoga practice. No. If you're anything like me, you'll just carbo-load your emotions, go back to bed and completely neglect all the little rituals that make you feel better. I didn't even realize my self-image had gotten so bad, since most American women share this angst to some degree, until I befriended two women who don't buy in to that bullshit. They actual dig their bodies. I can honestly say that they might be the first American women I've ever met who don't in some way hate their corporeal forms. They are not super models. They are just normal women who don't waste time with self-hate.

Meeting them put a rather harsh mirror up to my face.

But not the way you (I) might expect. For the first time it dawned on me how much of my life is spent on comparing myself to other women and constantly tearing myself down. It's a thought-pattern that's hard to avoid. Women in our culture are trained from a young age to hate each other and view each other as competition, in dating, fitness, employment and even among female family members. It's passed from mother to daughter, both in warnings of other women and cruel, damaging behavior to each other. But when every woman you meet is playing that same game, it becomes a matter of course, of survival. The rules of The Game require harsh self-judgment to ensure you'll be better than all other women in this twisted beauty pageant of life.

But what happens when you meet a lady who doesn't play The Game?

At the first, my own nastiness and pettiness was starkly highlighted for me, as was my lack of self-confidence. Without cause to turn the magnifying glass on them, I turned the magnifying glass on myself, trying to pick out exactly how I had become a nasty, petty, self-loathing creature, which, naturally, only leads to more self-loathing. Doesn't that sound like a party? When you're the only one in the room wasting all of that time and energy on a ridiculous game of Mean Girls, the utter futility of it all becomes really clear with the resounding question:

Why the fuck would anyone do this to herself or others?

Is it fun? Does it help anyone? Does it make the world a kinder place? Does it line up with yoga or Buddhism, the soul of my soul? I think you know the answer. So, today I'm starting over.

I vow to be kind to myself.
I vow to stand up for myself.
I vow to extend grace to myself and others in order to cause no harm.
I vow to stop consuming media that tells women we are worthless.
I vow to be vocal against the casual misogyny that fuels The Game.
I vow to never engage in The Game ever again.
I vow to spend time on myself and stop being a people-pleaser.
I vow to not be afraid of being hyper-aware of my body through Asana.
I vow to honor the Feminine Divine daily.
I vow to start giving myself twice-monthly pedicures, again.

No matter your gender identity, will you join me in these vows?
(Okay, maybe not the pedicures, but [insert your own ritual that makes you feel radiant here].)

-Namaste-

Happy Holidays! (part 1)

2010-12-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the major gap again. I went to England, then the election happened, then had Thanksgiving, and the blog just sort of got lost in all of that. Interesting things are afoot, though. Big adjustments and announcements ahead! For now, I'm going to fill out the Christmas survey I've seen floating around the blog world over the past few days, because even though I'm a Buddhist, I still love the wonder and beauty of all the winter holidays, Christmas in particular. It reminds me of the very best of the rare happy family memories from my childhood. Things were very difficult every year around that time, but my parents still managed to make the home sparkle, fill our stockings with the best candies, bake the most amazing cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning and instill in us the wonder of the Christ story, His acts of love despite poverty and the possibility of peace on Earth through humanity's potential for good.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. I'm kind of a master gift wrapper as I channel my inner Martha Stewart.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial on account of California apartment living. Growing up in the country, though, my family would traipse out in the snow to cut down the yule tree every year.

3. When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving, another one of my family's traditions!

4. When do you take the tree down? Embarrassingly late. I like to keep it up as long as possible.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes. The organic, non-alcoholic kind.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? My very first phone for my bedroom (a rite of passage!) at age 10. It was clear, to show all the rainbow-colored inner workings. It also lit up when it rang.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My brother-in-law. He's a polite, soft-spoken guy who never wants to request anything. Tell us what you want/need, silly!

8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom or my four-year-old nephew.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, the world's tiniest nativity scene carved from wood and arranged inside a gourd as an ornament, from Peru. I'll post a picture at some point this season.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Handmade cards, always. Again with the inner Martha Stewart.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Regarding a certain relative I am convinced hates me: So everyone who knows me knows that I am vehemently anti-fur and I was also going through militant vegan-goth phase at the time, around age 18. This relative got me a multi-neon-colored scarf, most likely designed for a child, complete with dyed rabbit fur poof balls. No joke.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I am a weekend before kinda gal. I get that from my dad.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I recall

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My mom's special Christmas cinnamon rolls.

16. Lights on the tree (colored or clear)? White lights

17. Favorite Christmas song? Blue Christmas

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I live in the Bay Area! I do not require a white Christmas, LOL. We are very close to my husband's family here, so we always have a laid back Christmas Eve at my MIL's house and Christmas day at home, just the two of us.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Nope.

20. Angel, star or ribbon on top of tree? A beautiful punched copper star with lights

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve with Ben's family.

22. Favorite children's Christmas song? Uh, are there child-specific Christmas songs?

23. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? People rushing around consuming and being jerks to each other instead of spreading holiday love and grace to each other. That's the best gift of all, don't you know?

24. Favorite ornament theme or color? Rustic/country. Mostly wooden and copper ornaments with glass embellishments to really bring out the sparkle.

25. Turkey or ham on Christmas day? Nothing needs to die for my holiday festivities. :)

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? I want to go to Monterey Bay Aquarium with my family, little nephew included. Also, new yoga pants. Always new yoga pants.

27. Does anyone in your family dress up as Santa? We're thinking about dressing my brother-in-law up like Santa to tickle my nephew.

28. Age you discovered who Santa was? We didn't do Santa in my family. I think my dad really wanted us to appreciate how hard he and mom worked to provide for us.

29. Eggnog, hot chocolate, or apple cider? I have to choose?!

30. Traditional colors (red and green) or other colors? Copper, green and burgundy. We like to keep it Old World understated.

31. Do you have any Christmas decorations on your roof? Apartment living precludes it. :(

32. How does Santa get into your house? Chimney or magic key? He apparently shrinks very small to squeeze through the radiator.

33. Do you prefer gifts or gift cards? I really like experiences, not stuff.

34. Favorite Christmas Cartoon? How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Now it's your turn! How do you like to celebrate?

Photo of the Week- Fried Bug Vendor in Bangkok

2010-10-12T18:38:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts! It's been very exciting over here. My husband landed an amazing new job that will afford us location independence once he transitions out of his current job. We're also going to the UK in about two weeks to visit his new employers/colleagues and to have our belated honeymoon. Life is pretty sweet. I can't wait to take this photo outfit on the road again!

Today's photo of the week is of a peculiar street vendor in Bangkok, Thailand. If you look closely, you can see that his wares are (presumably delicious) fried and spiced insects of many varieties. I didn't try any at the time, because my stomach was already unsettled, but next time I think I will nom on some crickets.

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Insect vendor in Bangkok, Thailand, June 2010

Saying Good Riddance to September and HUZZAH! to October

2010-09-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

To be perfectly honest, the last few months in my world have been arduous, a marathon of one challenge after an other. I tried to withstand them with the grace my name suggests, but I failed quite a bit. I even found myself in the childish thought-circle of "why me?" and "what have I done to deserve this?" It is only natural, only human, for us to seek order and reason during Samsara (cycle of earthly suffering), as if understanding the designs of our suffering would lessen the pain (hint: it doesn't.). The two most serious crises recently were health-related, reminding me the importance of caring for my body in times of bounty so the reserves can carry my mind through in times of famine.

At the very beginning of July, I tore a major muscle in my lower back. I was hoping it was only a bad strain and pushed myself to do my regular yoga practice, which had me in tears on the floor. By pushing to do my yoga instead of listening my body and resting, I further inflamed the injury and was functionally immobilized, in agony, for two months. All I could do was wait for the muscle to repair itself and do the most basic stretches when I could manage them. The muscle healed very well, but I lost a lot of strength and I am now slowly building up to 100%. I went two months without Asana (yoga postures), the longest I've ever been without it in the 13 years I've practiced. Suffice to say, it was extremely depressing and my joints still ache from the long Asana drought.

Just as I was regaining the use of my back, my husband was beset by a flare-up of the disease he suffers from, but rears its nasty head rarely, every 1.5 years or so. He suffers from cluster headaches, the grand poobah of all migraines. They are extremely rare and very little is understood about them, besides the expert belief that it may very well be, without exaggeration, the most painful condition known to medical science. When Ben gets them, he is knocked out of life for 4-6 weeks. No work, no friends, no loud noises, no lights, no conversation. Imagine living in dark, boring agony with nothing to distract from mind-breaking pain for a month at a time. I can only speak from my perspective, but as a care-giving wife during "headache season," it's frightening, lonely and sleepless. A deep helplessness and rage grows in me that does not happen when it's just me suffering. Cluster headaches are so strange and mysterious, causing so much terror with no explanation, and there is nothing I can do to make the demon go away. I can only hold his hand, hold down the fort and wait. As is always the case though, just as we both begin to fear that maybe this time the headache won't go away, it does. Tuesday, just as quickly as it came, the headache is gone and my husband is back. Tuesday was also his birthday, so we have many things to celebrate in the following weeks.

All is well and all will be well. I am full to overflowing with gratitude for an end to this particular season of suffering and gratitude also for the lessons taught by pain, like grace, endurance, selflessness and appreciation for victories great and small. In that joy, I feel comfortable setting real goals for October, goals mostly involving a return to joyful normalcy.

For October:

Try ecstatic dance and if I like it, make it a weekly habit
Work back up to an hour a day of Asana
Re-establish a weekly date night with my husband
Work back up to going to the gym 4 days a week
Invest time in my friendships
Become a morning person

Yes, those are a lot of goals, but I'm hungry for health, success and love.

What are your goals for October?

Photo of the Week- Vietnamese Mother

2010-09-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

It's been far too warm where I live to write a real post yet this week (though I do have one brewing), so I give you the photo of the week.

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This is picture shows an impoverished Vietnamese mother speaking about her daughter's fight against Leukemia and her own struggle with untreated Hepatitis. After meeting her, 100 Friends decided to assist her in paying for cancer treatment for her daughter and Hepatitis treatment for herself, neither of which she could have afforded on her own. I am so proud to be a part of this organization. If you feel moved to donate to our life-saving efforts in Southeast Asia, please click here.

Grace's Kickass Cauliflower Soup, a redux

2010-09-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

Since many people in my life, myself included, are currently down for the count with colds, I feel like it's a good time to re-post my favorite medicinal food recipe. The change of seasons is hard on the body. The stress of dealing with weather changes, less sunshine and upcoming holiday obligations can weaken the immune system and leave us open to viral and bacterial onslaught. Give your body the upper hand by getting plenty of sleep, drinking enough water and tea (easy to forget when you're not sweating as much), utilizing a sun lamp to regulate your circadian rhythms and ward off Seasonal Affective Disorder, doing yoga and getting cardio daily, and, most importantly, feeding the body tasty, healthy food with medicinal benefits.

GRACE'S KICKASS CAULIFLOWER SOUP!

It is vegan, gluten-free and full of immune-boosting vitamins and cardio-pumping spices to kick the pants off whatever ails you. It takes about 45 minutes including prep time.

3 or 4 Tbls olive oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 pound cauliflower florets
2-3 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1 tsp cumin or garam marsala
2 tsp coriander
1 tsp turmeric
2 pinches of cayenne
5 cups veggie broth

Saute onions, garlic, ginger and olive oil in the bottom of a big soup pot until lightly browned. Add the spices and let them bubble together for a minute or two. Add broth, cauliflower and potatoes. Bring to a boil. Cover and reduce to medium-low heat until the potatoes are tender (about 12 minutes). You can either eat it right away or let it sit for a while. It gets tastier and thicker the longer the spices are allowed to sink in.

Photo of the Week- Young Monk Between Rain Showers

2010-09-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

Some days I miss working in print media and being a professional, mainstream photojournalist, but today I am very happy to have an outlet to publish whatever the heck I want. In that spirit, I think I have decided that each week I will choose a photo of mine I am particularly fond of and showcase it here. Please feel free to comment and critique.

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A young monk strolls behind a pagoda between rain showers in Phnom Penh, Cambodia
June, 2010

And Then He Died

2010-09-17T02:06:00.000-07:00

I've been uncharacteristically silent this summer, both in my blog life and my personal life. I went to Southeast Asia for a month between May and June and it was such a deep, life-changing experience that, since then, I've had a hard time finding a voice to articulate this new space in which I have found myself. I wasn't expecting it to change me much. I was expecting an awesome, new experience where I would have the opportunity to see different countries and help some folks. I was expecting to try new food, be challenged in new ways, learn some languages and see exotic plants and animals. I was expecting to become maybe a little more compassionate and less afraid in the world, more comfortable in my own skin, but not much more. I wasn't expecting to have my heart wrenched open to feel so much so fast. I didn't know I could love and trust strangers implicitly. I didn't know I could cry with a grieving mother, with whom I shared no spoken language. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me first introduce you to Kien.

I am not generally a hugger. The reason for this is two-fold. On a superficial level, I am a bit of a germaphobe. I am extremely clean, and when I get too involved with myself, I avoid touching people, because I am afraid of their germs. How silly! On a deeper level though, I avoid physical closeness, because it suggests an intimacy I'm uncomfortable with. With intimacy comes attachment, and that attachment brings inevitable loss.

Before my trip to Southeast Asia, I recognized that my self-imposed isolation hurts myself and deprives the world of love that I do have the power to give. I felt like I was shaken out of a long slumber in February when someone I did not know well hugged me out of the pure joy of living. His heart is so overwhelmed by love of humanity that he hugged me upon meeting me, and it was infectious. Such an unexpected, genuine display of love felt really good and it surprised me. Very simply, it was so good to feel that way, I wanted to make other people feel like that, too. I also knew that much of my travels would be visiting sick and/or orphaned children who desperately need and deserve love. I made a decision the night before I left that during my travels I would hug any person who wanted it, no matter what their state. Jesus was on to something with that whole hugging the lepers business. That decision to reach outside myself and hug turned out to be one of the most transformational, sweet and painful things I've ever done.

My first real taste of touch and compassion came early in my trip while in Vietnam. There, the 100 Friends Project works with a few very impressive organizations and together, we do many great things, not the least of which is sponsoring medical care for children of impoverished families. My boss, our friends and I loaded a taxi van with five giant trash bags worth of stuffed animals, toy cars, and bean cakes and headed down to the children's hospital in Hanoi to visit the children we were sponsoring in the orthopedic surgery ward. It was happy a scene. These kids were all getting their desperately needed surgeries, so there were lots of happy families, lots of smiles, a joyful environment, because these kids they have a really good chance of being totally fine.

My boss meeting a happy dad in the orthopedic surgery ward

Then we went to the pediatric oncology ward, not such a happy place. Every kid was so sweet and every parent was happy to see us and happy to see their kids get toys. Some of them had good prognosises, but most of the cases were not so optimistic. I tried to remain detached, smiling at the babies, fluttering around at a distance with my camera. But then there was one little boy, Kien, who I really connected with and who stole and broke my heart. He was 2 years old with advanced brain cancer. He was a sweet, curious, active and an otherwise normal little kid, good natured and bright. He was in no obvious pain and completely oblivious to his plight. He sat on my lap for at least a half an hour, intensely interested in my camera, and he was tickled to push the big silver button and seeing the pictures appear on the back. That same day, his parents were told that there was nothing more the doctors could do for his cancer, and he was going to die within the month. We all took turns holding him and playing with him, indulging his every whim, kissing his downy hair and crying, because this sweet baby was not going to have many more chances to take pictures or play. It seemed like he could tell everyone was sad and he was actively trying to cheer us up with his silly toddler antics. As he sat on my lap, giggling and babbling away as toddlers do the world over, he entwined his soft little fingers around my hands, fearlessly exploring his world, fully accepting my existence as an entertaining stranger. His poor mother was the same age as me, possibly younger, and I sat with her for a long time, holding her and crying with her. She spoke no English and I speak no Vietnamese, but she held onto me and sobbed. In that moment, there was nothing anyone in the world could do for her but hug her and be kind to her son. I was blessed to be there for her in that moment and be taught the healing power of touch, in territory where language was superfluous.

Kien and his mother

A month or so later, soon after I arrived back in the Bay Area, I received an e-mail from our friends in Hanoi and they told us that yes, Kien had died. There were pictures of him attached to the e-mail documenting how bad the cancer was at the end, but I could never bring myself to look, because I want to always remember the happy little oblivious boy who played with my camera. I still cry every time I think of him, of the unfairness of life, our helplessness in the situation, and how the world is now missing the light of that sweet little boy. But I also cry from comfort in that my life was so blessed by that little guy, even for the extremely brief time I knew him. He changed me. I showered him with what love and affection I could in that moment, even knowing it was going to hurt to leave him. It was the right decision.

Kien and me

I am a quieter person now, a kinder, more understanding person. Part of that was from the experience with Kien (and other experiences on that trip I'll tell you about later). It's very hard, nee impossible, to close my heart again now that it's open. I joke with my husband that, to quote "Anchorman," "I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!" but it's true. I have all these feelings now, these warm feelings for my fellow humans (especially little humans), and I am often struck mute while dealing with them. As I work things out, I will share more of my heart with you, because I like you, and I hope my experiences are interesting to you, too.

Reintroducing Myself

2010-07-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

As my husband and I fiddle with the blog and give it a fancy new makeover (with which we are about halfway done), I think it's a great time to reintroduce myself!

Here are 20 things you may not know about me:

My name is Grace Breedlove, and yes that's my honest-to-blog name, not some hippie moniker I made up for myself. I dropped my given first name when I was 18, because I really never liked it and started going by my given middle name, Grace. Then I met and married a dude with the last name Breedlove. It's pretty awesome.
My little brother is 8 years younger than me, and he is my favorite person. He's kind, funny and cooler than I'll ever be, and I would seriously do anything for him.
I freaking love cherry pie and I order it whenever it's available. I think it's because that was the only pie my mom didn't make when I was a kid and so I'm not like, "Oh, my mom's is better," as is the case with every other pie.
Also on the topic of pies, my pumpkin pie is actually better than my mom's and way better than any pumpkin pie I've ever had at a restaurant. When I get 150 followers, I will tell you my secret.
I am really into having adventures, going orienteering, trying new food, getting lost on purpose and making every new step in life an exciting event worth celebrating. I also love watching adventure shows in the comfort of my warm home, whether it's in the fictional form of Lost or Firefly, or in the realm of reality TV like Man vs. Wild or Out of the Wild, though Survivorman is my favorite. Les Stroud is my hero, because he is so zen about everything. Even Giardia.
I met my husband when I was miming at a carnival-themed party. He was the only person at the party who didn't try to talk with me, but mimed instead. When he called me the next day and left me a message, it was the first time I had heard his voice, though we had "talked" for hours the night before.
I have two chronic, severe digestive disturbances that I let control my life for five years, but traveling to Asia and dealing with them abroad earlier this summer gave me the confidence to not let my diseases define my experiences. Getting sick while traveling was not the worse thing that has ever happened to me.
I have three favorite books that I love equally: Love in the Time of Cholera, Life of Pi and The Name of the Rose. Those three books shaped my morality, faith, philosophy and my navigation of the world more than any other personal, religious or cultural influence.
I have absolutely no desire to run a marathon.
I also have absolutely no desire to give birth.
Before this winter, I hope to hike across Lassen Volcanic National Park alone.
Since I was in middle school, the number one place I wanted to visit was Angkor Wat. I finally got to fulfill that dream when I visited Cambodia in June and it was indescribably awesome.
My new number one adventure goal is scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro. Followed at number two by prostrating myself the entire way around the base of Mt. Kailash in a traditional Buddhist pilgrimage.
I love to sing, but I despise karaoke.
I feel most at home in places where no one knows me and I don't speak the language.
My husband and I have really exciting plans for starting an NGO. For now it's just an idea, but when it sprouts legs, you'll be the first to know.
I have a photographic memory.
I have a photojournalism degree from one of the best journalism programs in the country, and I used to get extremely discouraged by not having the investment capital to start a mainstream photojournalism career. Now I am so ridiculously thankful to be free to photograph what I want on my own terms and with my own ethical compass, to serve humanity, not the almighty dollar.
I believe the true moral value of a society is judged by how it treats those who are weakest: animals and children. Tangential to that belief, I hyper-focus on protecting children and animals.
I've been through some pretty brutal tragedy in my life, but I am so blessed to have this life and to be aware enough to recognize its blessings.

*****

I am reminded of a story from the life of the Buddha. Soon after the Buddha attained enlightenment, a man came across him meditating under the tree, and the man asked him who he was. The Buddha answered, “Imagine a red lotus that had begun life underwater but grew and rose above the surface until it stood free. So I too have transcended the world, and attained the supreme enlightenment." "Who are you, then?" the man asked again.

The Buddha said:
"Remember me as the one who woke up."

Pardon My Dust

2010-07-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

I am currently in the process of resurrecting this blog and giving it a fancy makeover. My hope is that, in a few days, it will be more interesting, interactive, useful and professional. I will also no longer be constraining myself to writing about just yoga, though yoga will be, as always, the main anchor in my life and will undoubtedly still inspire much of my writing.

Many exciting things are on the horizon for The Fat Yogini, so stay tuned!

Going on an adventure!

2010-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, dear readers (if I have any left, ha!), I'm about to go on the adventure I've worked towards my whole life. My boss and friend at The 100 Friends Project, Marc Gold, has given me the opportunity to spend a month with him, traveling around Southeast Asia helping dispense aid to the people we help. In 2 weeks from right now, I will be in Tokyo, on my way to Bangkok. From Bangkok, I will go to Vietnam for a week, then to Cambodia for at least week. After that, the details are a little sketchy, but I hope to also go to Indonesia while I'm in the neighborhood. Every step of the way, I'll be meeting people whose lives have been or will be touched by the 100 Friends Project. I am so thankful and excited! Already on the agenda is distributing wheelchairs in Hanoi, teaching orphans in Phnom Penh, visiting Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, doing yoga on a beach in Thailand, fulfilling a childhood dream of going to Angkor Wat and hopefully joining my friend Dwight at his program, In Search of Sanuk, helping street kids in Bangkok. I am stoked!

But I'm also pretty scared.

I've never left the United States before. I don't speak Thai, Vietnamese or Khmer. I have never been to a tropical climate. I have freaking malaria pills packed in carry-on. MALARIA PILLS! I never thought I'd ever go to place where I need would need malaria pills! And this is the point in my inner monologue where I begin to question my sanity. Who the hell am I to be doing this? I'm nobody. I'm just a little country girl from a tiny little Midwestern town nobody has ever heard of. I have health problems and no one else in my immediate family have ever traveled abroad. My dad died without ever having left the continental United States. People like me just don't get to do things like this.

And yet, here I am, with a ticket to Thailand, a Vietnamese visa and those malaria pills.

Somebody pinch me, ya'll, because this is just weird.

Holy Jeeze, BUSY

2010-02-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

Namaste, loves! I'm so sorry it has been forever since my last transmission from bliss. There have been many exciting changes! Most notably, I got a wonderful new job. Were it not so wonderful, I would not have been away so long. I have joined up with Marc Gold, the founder of The 100 Friends Project to assist him in making the lives of countless people better through thousands of individual acts of charity. Please click on the link above to learn about the wonderful work Marc is doing and maybe even donate to the cause. I'm so excited to have the opportunity to not only help him hold down the fort while he is doing his important work abroad, but to also join him in Southeast Asia later this year.

If my posting continues to be erratic, it is because I am doing many things for this wonderful cause. It is my goal to not have long gaps like this anymore, though. More to come!

Sending My Love to You

2010-01-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

Last night, I decided to add a site traffic widget to see just how many people check out my blog, and to my surprise, dozens of people from all over the world visit every day! So, for all you mystery visitors, please leave a quick comment telling me how you found my site and what topics you would like me to address in future posts. Namaste and thank you for stopping by.

Please Remember Haiti

2010-01-19T20:17:00.000-08:00

The immediate response to the disaster in Haiti has been overwhelmingly powerful, a beautiful display of solidarity, action and empathy, but as time drags on, the situation will only get more desperate and complicated. In the coming days, weeks, months and years of rebuilding, please, don't forget them. The soul of Haiti is the soul of us all and we must take care of each other.

Here are some wonderful organizations doing great work for Haiti. Do whatever you can to support them:

Partners in Health have been on the ground in Haiti for over 20 years and right now they are in desperate need of assistance to answer the overwhelming need for medical attention in Port au Prince.
The easiest thing in the world to help is to send $10 to the Red Cross by texting "HAITI" to 90999. Please, just do it. There is no excuse not to.
The International Medical Corps is providing emergency medical assistance in Haiti and will be staying there to help rebuild their decimated health care system.
Fill a shoe box for a Haitian child through Million for Haiti. Fill the box with the following: 1 travel toothpaste, 1 toothbrush, 4 granola type bars, 1 bottled water (16 oz.). Mail your shoebox to:

Million for Haiti
3500 American Blvd. #685

Minneapolis, MN 55431

Along with these national and international organizations, keep an eye out for what's being organized in your own community. Look at churches, community centers, yoga studios, crafting circles, and music venues to support their efforts for Haiti.

As you do everything you can by giving money, putting aid packages together, going to benefit concerts, participating in benefit auctions, and encouraging your congressional representatives to support Haiti, also remember the power of meditation. In your daily yoga and meditation practice, take a moment to send your positive intentions to the healing of Haiti.

We're all in this together. Namaste.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

2010-01-11T23:13:00.000-08:00

WOW, the holidays were busy, busy, busy! We've been going non-stop over here since the week before Thanksgiving, so the blogging fell to the way-side. In the past two months, we had (and got over) H1N1, celebrated Thanksgiving, helped my father-in-law furnish his newly purchased home, baked a few hundred Christmas cookies, made a few dozen holiday cards by hand, celebrated Christmas, hosted out-of-town family and friends, and finally, planned and celebrated our wedding. Holy geeze, that's a lot! I was so blessed to be able to share the holidays with all of my family and celebrate my marriage to my best friend while they were in town, too. Better than me yammering on about recent events, here are some pictures!

My adorable nephew waiting patiently for Thanksgiving to begin

A plate of cookies made by yours truly

My nephew checking what Santa brought at my mother-in-law's house

Me, my husband, and my Christmas sweater

Christmas tree at my house

The path lit up at the Cathedral of Christ the Light for Midnight Mass

My brother, my mom and me at the Golden Gate Bridge

A candid moment at our wedding reception

The gorgeous (and delicious) wedding cake done by Torino Baking

The inscription: traditional vows in a coding language

My favorite picture of us at our reception

Thanks for hanging on with me. Next up: back to yoga blogging!

Blessings and happy new year to all of you!

Embracing the Feminine Divine

2009-11-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

I have always been a little jealous of those rare Earth Mother types who truly revel in their femininity, whose Moon Cycles are a source of joy, who are brave enough to embrace their bodies in their natural states and not force themselves into the impossible boxes the rest of us spend our lives trying to fit. I wonder how these women are able to find such self-acceptance in the face of the sea of voices telling us we are wrong at our core. Whether its how we should dress, who we should sleep with, how fat/thin we should be, what our boobs should look like, how we should age (or, rather, not age), how we should hide our periods, how hairy we should be, when/if we should become mothers, what jobs we should take or what our sexuality should look like, everyone's opinion seems to be valid except for the individual woman. And, to be quite honest, it really gets me down some days. I can be quite unkind to myself sometimes, echoing these sentiments of a diseased culture that tells women their natural bodies are an abomination, and that sort of self-talk does nothing but make me feel chained to my body, instead of comfortably settled in it.

When I need to snap myself back into a place of gratitude for the gift of a female physicality, I get into a pose of strength like the Warrior Pose followed by a position of submission like the Extended Puppy pose, repeating them and similar poses to be reminded of my own power and the collective power of all women to nurture and heal. I also do everything I can to support my feminine health throughout the month to make my Moon Cycle less unpleasant, mostly with tea like Woman's Energy and Raspberry Leaf from Yogi brand teas and dietary supplements like powdered cranberry to keep my urinary tract healthy and a garlic-based supplement to keep my natural flora in balance.

Two cups of raspberry leaf tea make my debilitating menstrual cramps completely disappear without nasty painkillers (thanks to my friend, Kacie, for suggesting it). I was skeptical, but it actually (miraculously) works. Also, drinking a cup of Woman's Energy, which is Yogi Tea's take on the ancient Dong Quai formula, every night throughout the month greatly reduces my PMS symptoms when its about that time. When all of my systems are running smoothly, it is certainly much easier to appreciate woman-hood.

*Kali*

When I'm feeling small and powerless against the patriarchy, I remember the stories and traditions of ancient goddesses like Kali, fierce Hindu goddess of time and worshiped by some as the redeemer of the universe, or Demeter, the ancient Greek goddess of growth, fertility and the changing seasons. In a society overwhelmed with images of male warriors and deities, it is comforting to remember the ancient belief in the feminine divine within all of us.

Today, I am most thankful for the women, both online and in my personal life, who I can turn to with my concerns and self-doubt. Without these wise women, I would be lost. I have been blessed with truly great female presences in my life.

*To my female readers, what makes you most thankful to be women?*

Quinoa: The Underappreciated Seed

2009-11-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

Today, I am thankful for Quinoa (pronounced "keen-WAH"), the gluten-free wonder grain! Once you get the hang of pre-rinsing the couscous-like kernels, you will be surprised by this delicious, hearty, and versatile carb. Full of protein, fiber, iron and amino acids, it kicks the pants off wheat, in my opinion. Quinoa was considered sacred to the Inca, who called it "the mother of all grains," and I tend to agree with them. It is the seed of a plant in the beet family, not a grain in the traditional sense, and so is free of the gluten that causes bad reactions for so many. As a delightful introduction to my favorite grain, I would like to pass on a simple recipe for Quinoa Stew, which can also double as a satisfying gluten-free, vegan stuffing replacement. Before you begin, be sure to thoroughly rinse the Quinoa. I prefer to dump the grains in a saucepan, fill the pan part-way with water, swish the grains around with my hand, then carefully strain it with cheesecloth.

Quinoa Stew

1.5 cups Quinoa
2-3 Tbls. olive oil
2 large carrots, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
1.5 cups vegetable broth

In a medium saucepan, saute Quinoa with olive oil until the grains turn clearish. Add carrots, onion and broth and bring to a boil. Turn heat to medium-low and simmer covered until all the liquid is soaked up. That's it! Experiment with other vegetables and spices to find the perfect version for you.

Taking Care of Business

2009-11-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

That's what the past month has been about; taking care of business. Sometimes a yogini just needs to unplug and hunker down with the domestics. In particular, I got married a few weeks ago and apparently when that happens, time enters a vortex. As we hurtle towards the holiday season and on to the new year, I am compelled to share my gratitude for all of the myriad blessings this life holds. So, for the next month and a half, all the way up through Christmas (because why stop at Thanksgiving?), I will list something or someone I feel grateful for each day.

Today, I am grateful for my husband, who is my rock in uncertainty, my levity when I am sad, and the most supportive partner I could ever hope for. He has the patience of a saint and is a source of unprecedented joy in my life. I am thankful for the opportunity I have been given to practice the yoga of grace on a moment-to-moment basis with someone who makes it so easy. He supports me in all that I do and he is a good friend above all else. How thankful I am to spend the rest of my life learning how to love him better. Life is very good!

~*~
Who or what are you most thankful for today?

What Does Yoga Mean to You?

2009-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

In my post before the soup, I suggested that we do yoga every day, working towards a life-long "Yoga Month." Thinking about it since then, I have realized that "doing yoga" is very vague. What a daily yoga practice looks like in my life today is going to be very different from the Indian guru who has been practicing for 80 years or the high-powered attorney who does Ashtanga to power up before court. As a matter of fact, my yoga practice today isn't going to be the same as my own practice 20 years from now. So, what does it mean to "do yoga?"

Western cultures put a lot of popular focus on Asana (postures), because they are the easiest to see, feel, teach, and, for the able-bodied, easiest to do. They are the external tools for internal change. The rhythms of squeezing and releasing, bending and extending help us be more mindful of our breath, the purifier and facilitator of meditation. Of course, Asana has all of the side benefits of flexibility, strength, circulation, detoxification and general health, which are awesome by themselves, but we mustn't get wrapped up in the pursuit of them. There's a very cute animated short that has been circulating the net for a while that sums this up nicely.

The external rewards should not be the ultimate goal. Asana alone is not yoga. There are seven other limbs to choose from in our daily pursuits, the sweet fruit of sweaty Asana. They are:

Yama (abstentions)- not harming in word, action or inaction
Niyama (observances)- austerity, contentment and non-grasping
Pranayama (breath control)- using the breath to purify and facilitate meditation
Pratyahara (abstraction)- resisting identification with external stimuli
Dharana (concentration)- fixed attention on a single object/idea
Dhyana (meditation)- intense contemplation on the true nature of existence
Samadhi (liberation)- merging consciousness with the whole of existence

Of all of the yoga limbs, the one that is most prominent in my life is my commitment to non-harming. I am drawn, at a level of vocational compulsion, to facilitate life and health for all beings. Sounds great, right? Sure, on a conceptual level, who actively wants to cause harm to others? Very few of us, I would imagine. On a practical level, however, it's less simple. It is not active harm that I need to check myself about, but my unconscious reflexes. I'm not about to go eat a big greasy beef burger, while driving a giant, gas-guzzling SUV and splashing old ladies with puddles. What I do need to worry about is the harm I can cause with my words and apathy. I must be constantly mindful to never be complacent towards harm or allow myself to do things that cause harm to me or anyone else. I am rambling a bit now, but my point is that, we can do yoga every day without necessarily stepping foot on a mat. We can do it in our speech, with our temperance, with meditation and concentration on our breath. I like to expand it even beyond the 8 limbs to include anything we do with kindness, selflessness and intention is yoga. My daily practice includes mindful speech, keeping my home clean to provide comfort to my mate, guests, and students, cooking nourishing food for my family and taking a few minutes to find peace in my breath. On a perfect day, my practice also includes lots of Asana, a trip to the gym and a blog entry, but life isn't perfect. There is no universal daily ritual to "do yoga," because every day is nuanced and different. The beauty of yoga is in its all-encompassing flexibility in what it means to be yoked to existence in its holy pursuit. I'm very curious to hear what leading a yoga life looks like in your world, so please comment about your daily practice!

Cold/Flu Season is No Match For:

2009-10-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

GRACE'S KICKASS CAULIFLOWER SOUP!

It is vegan, gluten-free and full of immune-boosting vitamins and spices to kick the pants off whatever ails you. It takes about 45 minutes including prep time.

3 or 4 Tbls olive oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
2 inches of fresh ginger, grated
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 a pound cauliflower florets
2-3 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1 tsp cumin or garam marsala
2 tsp coriander
1 tsp turmeric
2 pinches of cayenne
5 cups veggie broth

Saute onions, garlic, ginger and olive oil in the bottom of a big soup pot until lightly browned. Add the spices and let them bubble together for a minute or two. Add broth, cauliflower and potatoes. Bring to a boil. Cover and reduce to medium-low heat until the potatoes are tender (about 12 minutes). You can either eat it right away or let it sit for a while. It gets tastier the longer the spices are allowed to sink in.

We can get through this flu season together without the dangers of that pesky flu vaccine. Get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. Don't overload yourself with alcohol, caffeine or nicotine. Do yoga along with at least 20 minutes of aerobic activity every day, even when it's cold, to lower your stress levels and boost your immune system. Eat foods that nourish your body and soul. In short, use common sense and take care of yourself this fall; listen to your body and it will serve you.

Be well!

Making My Own Yoga Month

2009-10-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

September was National Yoga Month, and normally timing doesn't matter to me when community-wide events happen. I become aligned with the rest of my community, open and flowing in communal yoga bliss with great ease. This September, however, that was not the case. As of late, I have been woefully out of balance. I suppose it began with the soaring heights of joy and excitement I experienced early in the summer upon walking away from capitalist, Western pursuits to dedicate myself to the call of teaching yoga. I was feeling more expansive and sure of myself than ever before. As the excitement and action grew, I completely latched on to this idea of who I was "supposed" to be as a yogini, ever-smiling, ever-excited, never disappointed, sad or lacking confidence, instead of showing myself the grace to become at my own pace. When that initial excitement wore off, as can be expected in the natural course of things, it was followed by a series of emotionally grounding events that I did not accept with grace. I became discouraged and listless, grasping for my dwindling high and disappointed with myself that I couldn't be the "perfect yogini" (whatever the hell THAT is) every day, or even at all. The height of this negativity culminated right at the beginning of Yoga Month. I became careless with what I was feeding myself, comfort/stress eating instead of seeking mindful nourishment and looking at my yoga practice as a chore, not a tool for transcendence. Unsurprisingly, I became very ill. Chronic problems long dormant reared their nasty heads and I found myself able to do little more than lay in Savasana on the couch for two weeks. That gives a humbled yogini plenty of time to contemplate her choices with 20/20 hindsight.

Attachment had bit me in the butt yet again. It sneaks and creeps up on me when I am most distractedly happy. Detachment is certainly easier for me when I am in unpleasant circumstances, but in those moments when I am ablaze with joy, I want that feeling to last forever. Over the summer, I had a wonderful time experiencing the bliss of epiphany, but instead of accepting that moment for what it was and letting it pass away when it was time, I clung to it long after its expiration date. By not ceding my attachment to one moment, I denied the advent of new moments, new epiphanies and thus ensured my own suffering and imbalance. Who, besides the most advanced gurus, does not instinctively prefer joy to sorrow and ease to difficulty? A more immediately attainable goal than overcoming nature is to remember in the moment that my preference for comfort is not necessary to my own bliss. Never has it been more clear to me that to walk the path means to shun attachment by treating the great highs and the most crushing lows with the same regard. They simply ARE.

Essentially this long-winded post is me publicly recommitting to my practice of yoga and unity, body with spirit and the self with the whole. I know now that I can only approach this life with patience and unconditional love for my limitations. I am, in this moment, utterly grateful for such a starkly contrasted experience in attachment and I will carry it with me in the hope that I will not repeat it at such an extraordinary scale. October is my new yoga month, which will carry on to a yoga year as I commit the rest of my days to living a Yoga Life. Won't you join me?

Namaste

Is Mercury in Retrograde or What?

2009-09-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know about the rest of you, but the past few weeks have been a little heavy on my side of the world. I have been deeply introspective as of late, caught up in my own meta-analysis of the human condition and thus, my blog has lain fallow. Yes, Mercury is indeed in retrograde and when that happens there does seem to be a marked increase in communication disruptions and a drain on creative energy in myself and those around me, but Mercury can't be the whole story. It's easy to place the blame for our actions and emotions on an external force, like astrology, a god figure or the weather, but these ideas are most likely based more in our deep-seated need to find order and meaning in our suffering than in any concrete reality of these phenomena. The vast majority, if not all, of our suffering comes from defending the ego, our idea of the self as a separate, vital entity, incongruous with the rest of existence. Instead of owning that suffering as being of our own creation, we externalize the source on natural or supernatural forces out of our control, in protection of an ego that requires blamelessness to retain legitimacy. If we are ever to be free of suffering and the bonds of the ego, we must accept responsibility for the pain we create in the pursuit of differentiation. We must remember that we are all one; there is no Other.

Sorry about my absence. I would like to say that it won't happen again, but that is simply not a promise I can guarantee I will keep. Deep, contemplative states need to happen sometimes and they never follow a schedule. I do know that today I felt more alive than I have in a few weeks. I even went for a run for the first time since I experienced a catastrophic knee injury a year and a half ago. I wish you that same level of joy and freedom in your life every day.

Namaste.

The Age of Instant Gratification and the Modern Yogi

2009-08-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Is the yogic path inherently at odds with modern life?

A few years ago, when I was younger and more of a zealot, I would have said yes to that. Before I moved to an urban environment, out of the pastoral utopia of rural southern Indiana, I would have claimed that off the grid was THE only way to effectively transcend this plane of existence. As life would have it, I was brought to a very urban environment, with all of the distractions and seething bits of humanity one would expect here. There is early morning construction and abrasive late-night neighbor noises. There are gun shots, earth quakes, and every pathogen expected in a buzzing hub of immigration and tourism, high-speed internet and HD cable. One might think so many wonderful and awesome distractions would make my meditation practice more challenging, my quest for peace and detachment from materialism, futile. But does it?

Short answer: no. Think about it and give me your own thoughts in the comments.

A more interesting question is HOW meditation and moderation fit in a world of one-click buying and being able to indulge one's every whim, given the resources. Yoga and the Middle Way emphasize the detachment from grasping and I think the issues yogis take generally take with the modern world is the unfettered grasping, the way our culture rewards greed and cruelty in the pursuit of ever-more. The Middle Way provides the antidote to grasping through mindfulness. Being mindful of one's desires can go a long way to minimize your own impact on humanity's carbon footprint and limit your contribution to the ugly habit of modern consumerism. Meditation is one tool that can help cultivate the mindfulness necessary to navigate the urban setting as a yogi. Even the Christian Bible supports mindful living with God imploring us, "Consider your ways." Consider your every purchase, your every meal. Yes you can get anything you want as fast as you want if you have enough money, but do you need it? Does it nourish your soul? Is there a way to get the same thing with less environmental impact? Are your choices depriving someone else of their human rights? Is there a more ethical use for your resources? These are the questions we must be vigilant in asking ourselves amidst the many-splendored temptress of the urban environment and one-click technology.

We need peace and meditation and we can get tap into it anywhere. On the bus, in the financial district, in the ghetto, anywhere we find ourselves, if we are mindful of our thoughts, we can be a force for peace. The world is beautiful and miraculous no matter where you are, no matter how concrete your neighborhood is. We are constantly enveloped by the awe-inspiring vibration of the divine in the universe, pushed towards nirvana and expansion as we embrace open hearts, open minds and the throbbing, raw expanse of existence that transcends environment.

Namaste.

Of things to come

2009-08-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

I'm putting together a post on being a yogi in the age of instant gratification and it's taking a while since I've been besieged by a migraine for the past few days.

So, in the interim, please consider and discuss this question:
Is the yogic path fundamentally in opposition with modernity, urban environments and one-click culture?

Talk amongst yourselves!

Why "fat?"

2009-08-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'm Grace, the Fat Yogini, and I welcome you to my new cyber-home.

The name of a blog is very important, so why did I choose such a polarized and loaded adjective as "fat" to describe myself and brand my blog? Because, well, a little fat isn't a bad thing! In the West, we have been trained through our socialization to recoil from "fat," to be repulsed by even a few extra pounds and associate it with laziness, gluttony, and any number of other moral failings. The cultural fixation on thinness (not to be confused with healthiness) promotes the idea that there is but one paragon of physical perfection, and it doesn't involve any extra padding. Instinctively, we all know that every person has a different body, with a different metabolism, different needs, and different physical manifestations of "healthy," yet that doesn't stop us from buying into the idea that we should be thin, no matter the cost. We can see the psychological repercussions of this toxic social pressure in the epidemic of eating disorders, rates of cosmetic surgery, and the fact that the sale of anti-aging products and diet "tools" are a multi-billion dollar industry.

BUT WHY?! Fat isn't bad. We need fat to survive and to procreate. BMI is an antiquated arbitrary calculation that has been proven an inadequate measurement of health, seeing as it does not take into account bone or muscle mass. What is important is not some arbitrary ratio or pant size, but instead eating to live at the ideal size for YOUR body, not someone else's standard.

What is shocking to me is that this unhealthy obsession with healthy-equals-bone-thin is leaching into the American yoga industry. Yoga is being advertised more and more as this awesome "new" weight-loss trick, the magic bullet for fitness and the fountain of eternal youth. The popularity of Bikram Yoga, despite embodying a philosophy wholly antithetical to yoga's purpose, only highlights the industry's wholesale embrace of thin and "pure" by any means necessary. Is it that the wider American audience is not interested in a yoga that is meditative and welcoming to people of all sizes or is it that we just don't know what to do with a physical pursuit that isn't thin-driven? (I don't have the answer to that, but please feel free to voice your opinion in the comments section.)

Full disclosure: I am a yoga instructor and I have been practicing various types of yoga for almost 13 years. I am technically overweight (say it with me now, screw you, BMI!). When I am at my healthiest, which means nurturing my own yoga practice, teaching yoga and/or working out moderately 5 days a week, practicing poi, running after my nephew, and eating a low-fat, vegan diet, I am consistently 5-15 pounds "overweight." I'm not going to lie and say that I'm entirely okay with my naturally stocky build, trying to thrive in an industry chock full of naturally lithe and beautiful women, but really, what the heck am I going to do about it? I can't change my body type. I can't change my passion for yoga and my desire to help people. I can only work to be the healthiest, most energetic version of me possible and to help others do the same. This is what this blog is about: to promote, in the spirit of the yogic philosophy of non-harming, an embrace and a love of our bodies at all stages, working towards a goal of health that is not wrapped up in how thin we become. We are here to be strongest, healthiest version of ourselves, mentally, physically and spiritually, and yoga is an invaluable tool in that pursuit. Thanks for reading and I hope you stay.

Be well.